man of the year

i love naps

i just dreamt about putting 206 million dollars in my panties.

-loose lindy

cali4nia

loosey lindy, tiny tears

shit has been awesome and gnarly at home. my girl tiny tears and i have been rockin' it. today was reading in the sun, and yesterday i roughed it on the plane last night and met her at a boxing bar by my house. i had two glasses of tap water and got tired and then went for a holiday ale at another place. both places were designed similarly- with the intent of attracting wealthy 20 somethings to 40 whatevers. among the various pairs that we encountered, bob kent and scotty were among the most ridiculous/memorable to come by. their beer tasted like pizza, they produce independent movies, both mumbled something about fucking like friends. to make their embarrassing embarkment short, scotty said to tiny tears "if i didn't have this six week girlfriend, you and i [moved his hands back and forth from him to tiny tears] would be together". i essentially puked and spilled my chocolate beer on him. woops.


i think this blog is a place to recognize brilliant women. someone i would like to recognize as an amazing woman is tiny tears' mom.

she is wise wise wise wise. if you don't believe me, find me and we can call her and talk to her about everything and anything. she also makes the best applesauce in the world so i nominate her also for best mom who makes awesome applesauce.

WTF mirror images on photobooth.
nonetheless
860-987-6624 if you want a tour of the USofA or some sex, I'm sure he'd oblige you.

Love,
Dimess

not so missed connections

After a day in bed, red eyes scanning the computer screen and sweaty fingers pounding the keys trying to produce a Div III introduction what does one do? Go to Club Rain in Springfield? Why not?!

I was unattractively reclining in bed, sans pants and old tshirt when my room was invaded by girls, dressed in their slut regalia, pounding beers to "pre-game" for a night of being hit on by Axe drenched horny dudes from Hartford who have Pilgramaged all the way to the fine city of Springfield hoping to get laid.

I was assigned DD which is fine. But by the time we got there and men who were badly in need of a teeth brushing (No, people of the world, you cannot subsitute a tic tac for a toothbrush!) were doing an impression of dancing that was far too similar to just straight up humping unsuspecting girls. I was far too sober to handle half mast penis against my leg. And PS to the creepy guy who danced with me for one song too long, when I said, "hey, I have to go find my friends.. see ya!" that didn't mean "yeah, so now that you're pretty much my boyfriend why don't we meet up later". Ugh. Come on!


Oh and my favorite was the guy who came up to me as I was leaving.

"Hey, I've been in clubs for years and I think you're a phenomenal dancer"

"Um, great."

"Can I buy you a drink"

"No... I am leaving."

" Can I get yr number?"

"Um, no..I'm from Peru and I am only in the US for a few more days.. I dont have a phone"

"Oh! Well let me give you my number and I'll show you all around America.."

He takes a napkin and writes "Anthony", his phone number and then the word "Peru", mysteriously with a tilde over the "e".

In case I forgot where I was from?

LOL.
I'm not from Peru.

I have to go back to work!
Love,
Dimes

date for the soccer game

when i was young, i had the same grand ideas about myself as they have and for a while i thought all i needed, to be handsome, was a pair of sandals- the open kind, made of only a strap and sole. and a pair of purple socks to go with them, so i bought the sandals and my mother knitted me the sock and i made a date for a tuesday at the lower tavern.

so there i stood examining the metal fitting around the keyhole until i felt ready to move in for the lineup, and even though the lineup turned out to be from the previous week, i read it through again because i'd felt my right purple sock and sandal sick into something large and wet, and i didn't have the courage to look down. anyway, i read it through again all the way to the end, where my name was, and when i finally did look down, i saw that my sandal, the open kind with only a strap and a sole, had sunk into a large dog turd so i tried reading the lineup through yet again, slowly, name by name, all eleven names on the second team, and then my name as substitute, but when i looked down i was still standing in that awful dog turd. and when i looked up, who should i see coming out of his gate but the boy i had the date with, so i undid the strap, pulled my foot out of the purple sock, and left sandal and sock.

pheromones

after umass last night, dimes and i went to the monkey bar after we picked up her heidegger friend. heidegger was interested in dancing, but no way do fine ladies like us pay a five dollar cover charge. as you may expect, we got in anyway and encountered a mostly empty bar with a few exceptions of 5 umass joeys. one of them was wearing a shirt that said 'scent to bed'. he approached dimes and i, and without any hesitation we told him to go to smellmeand.com. we tried to explain to him that some men enjoy the vagina scent and he may want to inquire about this ridiculous product. he felt uncomfortable with our bluntness and responded with 'what the fuck, do you want to smell dick?'





all of this reminds me of this guy i went on a date with last weekend. he was getting pretty ridiculous, taking me out for indian food, and spilling shit all over me. he wants to be a real estate agent and is really into spiderman. it's like some cameron diaz romantic comedy. boys are whack.


-lindy

attn umass

So the 9th floor is full of less than spectacular looking dudes and chicks wearing pajama pants and ugg boots.(god, I'd be wasting my breath to make a comment on anachronicity, but damn!)
What's the deal? Let's work something out.

love,
dimes

a picture is worth a thousand words

UMASS+ ND623L5A3 Folio


ya'll smart, you figure out what happened..
love,
dimes

are you cheese? don't get too close or you will melt

this weather is kind of a bummer for looking cute. but i am wearing panty shorts today anyway. also, i think it is amazing when my girls cougar and dimes make winter feel like summer with their banging bodies. even with black winter coats, they look ellusive and magical. people encounter them on powdery snow paths, and they look like sex videos veiled by wool coats.




also i am thinking about purchasing a portable fireplace from walmart. it's 39.99 and i would have a mantel for my books, hot teas and pot plant!

YOURS,
lindy

check IN check UP check CUMIN

(a studious boy)



so i know i have not been so active on the internet but in da social net i be bumpin! god, my gurlz loose lindy and dimes been so hot lately i got the fiz plant to turn off my heat. so it being the end of the semester and all and me having all this work to get done and big heavy boooks to read i been actin so hot, i am walking the stacks lookin for some hatties and the only babes worth bangin on the Znd floor is my reflection. there is this dude in my feminist fiction Lit class and he is so hot. i mean we all know anyboy takin a womenz center class is only doin it to be a totally hottie. but he is so hot he got these big glasses like my grandpa and he write papers about his mamma being naked. i think i will be bumpin in to him in the stacks - you 96 hotties know what i mean. I probs gonna be givin him my callnumber (HQ 12.F6815) !!!!

wet smooches,
Mountain Cougar

oh yes

<3lindy

burritos and california loooove

so many new updates that need to be made.

in short:

1. found condoms everywhere in all of cougars pockets (i wanted to borrow something sexy and i reached into all the pockets to find magnums, wtf!)

2. talked to an old love tonight and he is amazinggggg and i miss his amazingness

3. i hit on some guy for lone star today. i explained her situation with her bf, div iii, and her desire for a future with him.

4. woody has been missing, probably getting some wood though.

5. dimes, i know she went into town and probably got some digits.

6. sitting next to a literature babe right now. she is a poet and a hot lover.

7. can't wait to go back to cali and put on these:



.....and hang out with this guy:



yours truly,
lindy

yes,
dimes

penis power

3:37
"...this man won't even buy you...some shrimp from Long John Silvers, and what, the plate is what; 2.99? Well he can give you a mouthful of sperm and a rectum full of sperm.."

lol,
dimes

more stately mansions

Whilst doing it and sleeping in bed with various men has been fantastic, I must unhappily return to the salt mines from whence I came to write out my first div iii chapter.

Lindy has an idea that on the 9th floor at Umass there is an abundance of attractive and demoralized art students.. That's next on the agenda.

Thinking of div iii and about Cicciolina and I decided I just diversify my academic endeavors. Postcolonial/subaltern studies? How can I help the indigenous peoples of Nuñoa? Should I collaborate with the towns people and write a history of Nuñoa or should I start offering to make love for money for Nuñoa! butt sechs not books!

ps.
i'm learning stick shift!


love,
dime$$$

LOL! this bitch is for REAL! way to put your pussy where your mouth is babe! You're like the ho version of Cicciolina trick! (thx Jesse)





love,
dimes by proxy

....

i was very much with dimes in spirit today. she spent some of her hours working hard, wet and sexy on her div iii. i was napping, but i knew this and knew that she would encounter a man that measures ridiculous hotness. they even had the same shoes on! dimes, being the big brain beauty that she is (a winner of the rhode island teen pageant at the age of 17 also), was so engaged with her studies that he managed to slip away. she didn't have to go looking for him. he was something like a running wolf in the dark, impossible to find, but we know he will be back, howling on the cliff of her bed a night too soon.

cougar is mackin' it up with woody right now. they are both wearing plaid shirts and deciding on some scary movie to watch. they are trying to get me to join but it's pretty obvi that i would fall asleep.

cougar just came down and announced that lone star has the best make out music. i guess she is making out right now. even though lone star is lone star, she also has a boyfriend. someone is always getting it on in 96. hotness all around in 96 tonight.